Motherhood solo by own choice

Society It doesn’t always make it easybut when reviewing the different types of family that exist in Spain (and other countries) It is increasingly common to find a profile that until not so long moved at minimum levels: that of women who raise their children alone by their own choice. People who decide to be a mother (or father) moving away from the canonical formula, without a partner, assuming the load in solitude or with support that is not that of a husband/boyfriend, but that of their own parents, brothers or friends. The data does not abound, but those that are suggest that more and more.

The big question is … why? And what does it imply?

Homes with a single parent. The first thing that shows the INE (and clearly) is the rise of “Monoparental households”those formed by a father or mother who raises his children alone. According to the INE, in 2020 there were in Spain 1.94 million of families with that profile, 14% more than in 2013. Although most are the result of divorces, separations or the death of a parent, there is a profile between them booming: that of single women. After growing 40% in 2020 they already added tens of thousands of homes.

Is there more data? Yes. Fair a year ago the Spanish Fertility Society published An article about new family models in which he pointed out precisely the “growth” of a specific pattern: that of “single mothers by choice.” In his analysis he slides a revealing fact that he attributes to the INE: “Between 2012 and 2022 the number of single mothers by choice has increased 32.8%.” The same percentage is collected in A recent essay of Ethic In which it is specified that in 2022 there were about 12,000 births in single -parent homes, almost 3,000 more a decade earlier.

“The dissolution of the link”. After a single -parent home there may be many different realities, such as a divorce, a separation, the death of one of the parents or an abandonment, but Xavier Roigé, professor of the Department of Social Anthropology of the University of Barcelona (UB) (UB) (UB) I pointed recently to the newspaper Ara That these scenarios are now “historically” new: single -parentality by choice, a phenomenon that the expert explains by “the dissolution of the link between conjugability and maternity. “

Having children and partners no longer have to be two aligned circumstances. Any woman who wants the first without the second has at their disposal (in addition to adoption) assisted reproduction. The INE returns to Provide data That, although they do not portray that reality directly, they do give clues: in 2013, single -parent households with a single mother represented 12.5% ​​of the total single -parent households with women. In 2020 that percentage had already risen to 16%, although it was still below the one represented by the widow or divorced mothers.

Another indicator: the clinics. The INE is not the only one that has captured that new reality. Another valuable reference is left by fertility clinics. The data From the Spain Society of Fertility (SEF) show that in 2016 4.4% of the total in vitro fertilization cycles (IVF) corresponded to women who wanted to be solo mothers. In 2017 they already supposed 5.9%, in 2018 6.5%, in 2019 7.4%and in 2020 8%. In just four years the percentage of women who have resorted alone to IVF in Spain thus grew almost 50%.

“In the consultation we find each day with more partners of women, more couples who come with children of previous relationships and of course with more women who decide to face maternity alone. This has radically changed the way of facing these treatments,” explained in 2023 The Secretary of the SEF, Elisa Gil, to Pharma Market.

There are assisted reproduction clinics that ensure that Between 15 and 20% of the women who attend do so without a partner and studies that confirm that half Of the Spanish who have no children but want to be mothers, they have ever considered taking the step without a couple.

Does it happen only in Spain? No. Financial Times He has just boarded this new reality in An article of eloquent title (“The rise of single -parent families by choice”) in which some interesting data on British society slides. The main one: according to the National Statistics Office in 2023 there was in the United Kingdom 3.2 million of families with a single parent, of which 85% were formed by mothers who raise their children alone.

Another revealing fact is that the number of single patients undergoing fertility treatments (IVF and insemination of donors) has shot in the country in just two decades: 305 in the late 90s it has passed to 4,660 in 2022.

And what about men? The INE shows that in 2020 only 18.6% From the single -parent homes they had a man in front. Its weight with respect to women is much lower, which does not mean that there are men who also seek to experience paternity alone. In 2020 Sirin Kale talked about it in The Guardian In an article in which he pointed out precisely “the rise” of that model, driven by men who resort to the adoption or reception of children without a partner or even subrogated gestation, an option that It is not allowed legally in Spain, which does not mean that They resort to foreign countries where it is contemplated.

The big question: why? As is often the case with social phenomena, especially with those who are as complex and have as many nuances as fatherhood, to understand the trend well, several keys need to be handled.

Who have tried to explain The solo maternity rise points to the change of mentality at the social level, parenting, couples or the family concept, in addition to another crucial factor: the improvement of labor perspectives by women and the flexibility offered by formulas such as teleworking. The increase in solo motherhood, without a spouse, also coincides with A clear delay In the age in which women have offspring.

“You can’t fail”. “If you are alone you can only do it if you have a good salary or a mattress,” Recognize the newspaper Ara Sandra, mother of a girl. “The problem of single parents is that you can’t fail,” Add Ruthanother woman in a similar situation (she has three offspring) to Financial Times. “Obviously you are the only one that brings money and the only one that provides care.” “You can literally not be in two places at the same time as a biparental family can.” There are de facto studies that They already verify The greatest economic vulnerability of families headed by women alone.

Images | Dakota Corbin (UNSPLASH) and Alexander Dummer (UNSPLASH)

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