Separations

The term may be striking, but one thing must be recognized: it does not leave much room for misunderstanding. The “gray divorces” They are neither more nor less than that, separations carried out by couples with gray hair, spouses who are over 50 years old and often have been married for several decades. Until not long ago they were a relatively strange phenomenon; But as the population pyramid widened at its upper end and society changed, they have gained weight. So much, in fact, that there are already experts investigating its causes to understand them better. New times, new trends. Divorces with last name. There is nothing written about love. About heartbreak, either. There are those who end their marriages just a few years after saying “I do”, those who do so after decades and those who sign the divorce papers after the age of 60, when both spouses have gray hair. Sociologists and academics specialized in demographic phenomena have even given the latter a name: “gray divorces”. The term is not entirely new. In 2004 I used it and to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) and in 2012 researchers from the Bowling Green State University They even spoke of a “gray divorce revolution”, but since then it has attracted the attention of more and more experts. Today the expression is replicated in a good number of essaysincluding a extensive article published in 2024 in Sage Journal and that seeks to investigate its causes. A rising phenomenon. It takes reviewing some figures to understand that interest. In the US, the divorce rate among adults at least 50 years old has more than duplicate in a matter of two decades to the point that in 2010 almost 25% of separations could be considered “gray divorces”. Some experts have detected that their incidence has stabilized over the last decade or that they have even decreased after the pandemic, but still almost 40% of the people who decided to dissolve their marriages in the US in 2022 were still over 50 years old. Beyond the USA. The phenomenon is not exclusive to the US. The INE also leaves some brush strokes interesting about what is happening in Spain. For example, almost a third (31.8%) of divorces made official in 2024 were carried out by couples who had been married for at least two decades. Another key fact is that, although the highest number of separations occurs between spouses who are in their forties (40 to 49 years old), the average age at which they decide to follow different paths has not stopped growing in recent years until it is approaching 50. Among men it is already close to 49 years old. In general, the INE estimates that over the last three decades, senior divorces, between couples over 50, have skyrocketed by around 40%. Accented from 65 onwards. “Divorce in old age is increasing in the Western world, even in family-oriented societies like Israel, in which the most common family status for older adults, aged 60 or over, is to be in a long-term heterosexual marriage with adult children,” a group of researchers from the University of Haifa reflected a few months ago in an article focused precisely on the drift and causes of gray divorces. In their analysis, they also see a particularly marked increase among couples with members who are 65 or even older. Average age of spouses at divorce (YEARS) Women Men 2015 43.8 46.3 2016 44.2 46.7 2017 44.8 47.2 2018 45.2 47.6 2019 45.5 47.9 2020 45.6 48.2 2021 45.5 47.8 2022 45.9 48.4 2023 46.2 48.7 2024 46.6 49 And why do they separate? The big question. And there is no single answer. The first and obvious thing is that not only those who get divorced have changed; society itself has done it, increasingly older in regions like Europe or the US. Considering that the average age of Americans has gone growing gradually since the 1970s or that the population over 64 years of age hasn’t stopped to gain weight, it makes sense that there are also more and more divorces involving couples who have blown out all 50 candles. life expectancy has been stretched Furthermore, which broadens the life horizon of couples. “Your ability to enjoy has improved”. “In these societies, older adults enjoy relatively good health and functioning, and these conditions have improved their ability to enjoy life,” they add the Halifa researchers, who point both to the transformations of the population pyramid and at the cultural and social level. “Later-life divorce is increasing due to changes in marital and family structures and demographic trends.” Although that is the general framework, there are those who appreciate important nuances. After observing a slight drop in divorce rates among couples aged 50 to 60 from 2022, a study Recent research from Bowling Green State University raises an interesting reflection: gray divorces could be “largely” a phenomenon associated with couples Baby Boomersformed by spouses born around the middle of the 20th century. One process, two phases. During your studio Researchers at the University of Halifa discovered something else: they concluded that divorces that occur after the age of 50 or even in old age are usually the result of a “complex” and long process, lasting several years, during which two well-differentiated phases can be identified. “The first, continuous and prolonged, is that of staying together despite the distance. The second captures the moment of the final decision to separate, with a point of no return or inflection and several accelerating factors in the background.” The experts too have identified two large layers in divorces between older couples: the “interpersonal” and the “demographic”, such as increased life expectancy. Of the two, the most curious are the first, since – the researchers highlight – they do not differ much from the reasons that lead younger couples to break up: distancing, infidelities, health or financial problems, poor communication, behavioral changes or an imbalance of roles in the home. Second … Read more