Psychology

There is no “epidemic” of egomaniacs but of a misuse of psychology

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Decades ago, the term narcissism rarely came out of a clinical manual or a psychiatric consultation. Today, you only have to open TikTok to find an army of self-proclaimed experts giving advice on how to identify a narcissist based on cues as vague as a “dead stare” while applying makeup, or warning about “passive aggressiveness.” We live in the age of couch diagnosis. “Lately ‘being narcissistic’ is one of the most used words on social networks and among conversations among friends,” Sandro Espinosa confirms us in an interview for Xatakapsychologist specialized in therapy focused on emotion and trauma. However, what we use today as a trendy insult to describe a “bad person” or a “selfish ex-boyfriend” is actually far from its original clinical meaning. According to Espinosa, in classical psychotherapy, the word narcissism does not refer to anything negative. per se. “It is understood as the value we assign to our own image”, a kind of self-concept that we develop throughout life. Virgil Zeigler-Hill, professor cited by New York Timesagrees: the term has become a “general label for a wide range of unpleasant or frustrating behaviors,” losing its scientific nuance. The era of the psychological “meme” The leap from the clinic to pop culture has come at a price. For Sandro Espinosa, the popularization of these terms has caused them to be distorted until they lose their psychological connotation, becoming “a meme or a moral label.” The phenomenon is tempting. As the psychologist explains, we use the label “narcissistic” to define “someone who has hurt me and did not know how to love me.” This offers immediate relief to the alleged victim. Sara Pallarés, psychologist at the Enric Corbera Institute cited by The Vanguardwarns that “it seems to be fashionable” to put this type of labels. “Everyone has a narcissistic partner, a narcissistic father… They all use it to justify their current traumas,” says Pallarés, warning that this position often hides a lack of courage to resolve one’s own issues. The danger of this mass self-diagnosis is twofold. On the one hand, Espinosa warns about “false positives”: believing that someone has a disorder based on a 60-second video. On the other hand, statistical reality is stubborn: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is rare. According to data collected by Mayo Clinic, It is estimated to affect only 1% to 2% of the adult population. However, on social media, it seems like we are surrounded. So why are we so obsessed with labeling the other as a sick monster? The answer, according to experts, has more to do with us than with them. “Seeing the world in black and white will always offer us relief and a feeling of control,” explains Sandro Espinosa. By labeling the other as a narcissist, we turn a complex relationship into “a simple story of a villain and a victim.” This simplification has a very powerful psychological function: the total moral innocence. Espinosa details that, if the other is “sick” or a “monster”, then “I don’t have to review my relational dynamics.” It cleanses me of guilt and turns the other into an aggressor, allowing me to “continue in the world without the need to engage in healthy self-criticism.” Psychologist Sara Pallarés poses an uncomfortable question to those who take refuge in this label: “Hey, what do you have to do with this? What responsibility do you have?” According to Pallarés, by blaming exclusively the narcissistic profile, the person loses the opportunity to heal and understand why they ended up in that situation. Furthermore, there is a phenomenon of mass identification. Espinosa alludes to Forer effect (the same principle that makes us believe in horoscopes): Any vague, emotionally charged description of being a “victim of a narcissist” appeals to us because it offers us a narrative in which we are morally innocent and deserving of care. Being an “asshole” is not the same as having a disorder. It is crucial to distinguish between a bad character and a pathology. Sandro Espinosa offers a key to differentiate them: intensity, frequency and duration. “We can all sometimes be selfish, cruel, immature and we don’t have a disorder,” he clarifies. The psychologist uses a visual metaphor to describe the true structure of narcissistic disorder: imagine a glass sculpture. From the outside, the image is seen as grandiloquent, arrogant and charismatic. But “within that figure, at the core of it, we would see a child who is covering his eyes or ears with his hands, who is ashamed, who feels humiliated.” Grandiosity is just a compensatory mask to cover up unbearable pain. In the report of New York Times They break down that not all narcissists They are the same. There are subtypes such as grandiose narcissist (safe, status seeking), the vulnerable narcissist (hypersensitive, anxious, defensive) and antagonist (competitive and hostile). However, a key point is empathy. While in networks it is said that they lack it, mention is made of the concept of “Splenda-type empathy”: an artificial or instrumental empathy. Espinosa agrees and clarifies that, in consultation, it must be distinguished whether the person really feels the pain of the other or if they use empathy instrumentally, “at the service of their need to be desired.” Furthermore, in Thought Catalog mention specific tactics such as “jealousy induction”, where these profiles deliberately provoke jealousy to gain power and control over the partner. Espinosa adds that, in fact, people with this disorder tend to be “very envious” and that this envy is born from a “defensive rage.” Far from demonization, experts advocate humanizing the spectrum. “Narcissism is always a dimension. We all have narcissistic traits,” Espinosa recalls. We all sometimes need to be looked at and recognized. Even those with the diagnosis suffer. In a report by Eldiario.es They collect testimonies from people diagnosed who describe the illness as living in an illusory world to protect oneself from feeling “the worst.” The stigma is such that many hide their diagnosis for fear of being seen as abusers, when they are often vulnerable … Read more

How technology hacked psychology so we can’t put down our cell phones

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You’ve spent two hours, three, in an impossible position looking at your cell phone in the middle of a kind of trance. A notification made you unlock it and after jumping from one application to another for a few minutes, you fell into the black hole of the scroll infinite. You could hardly say what you have seen or if you have enjoyed any of the dozens of videos that have passed you by. What perverse mechanism has been capable of hijack your attention for hours? The first thing you have to know is that not even rats escape this spell. In the 1940s, a psychologist named BF Skinner tried to find out how our brain’s reward system works by studying the reactions of laboratory rats with an experiment: the animals learned that if they pressed a lever, they got food. Easy, but it gets complicated. The most interesting part of the experiment, known as skinner boxand the one that can most be compared to the time drain that social networks are is the following part: Skinner stopped rewarding the rats every time they pressed the lever and started giving them food sometimes and sometimes not. Was this enough to discourage them? Far from it: they had tried the benefits of intermittent reinforcement. The logic of intermittent reinforcement For rats, the possibility of food was enough, just as you have only received interesting notifications a few times out of the many times you look at your cell phone, or only one of the publications you have compulsively consumed has satisfied your curiosity. Intermittent reinforcement is a psychological pattern that is characterized because rewards are given unpredictably, so that it creates a hook and strong attachment. “The mechanisms behind social networks are the same as those of slot machines,” David Ezpeleta, neurologist and vice president of the Spanish Society of Neurology, explains to Xataka. He intermittent booster It is also a vice of toxic human relationships, where affection, attention, and validation are marketed. In the case at hand, both the rats with the food and you with the likes, DMsor finding something you want to buy, get a hit of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is released in pleasure-related situations, when the random reward finally appears. “They are short-duration, high-intensity stimuli with the possibility of reward. For every ten times we look at the networks, perhaps we only receive a reward on one. And that possibility is more addictive than a sure reward ten times,” he points out. The first thing we do when we wake up, the last thing we do before going to sleep. (Unsplash) “Technologies are capable of doing anything to keep you reading headlines, clicking links, adding favorites, commenting posts, retweeting articles, looking for the perfect GIF to answer a hater“, writes Marta Peirano in The enemy knows the system (Debate). The text is from 2019, and although some behaviors may have changed since then (who answers with GIFs anymore?) and neither TikTok nor the reels still dominated our attention, the mechanisms that go behind our hitch They are the same since Skinner. There are more and more people who have a profile on some platform and use them for more activities. They are a source of socialization, entertainment and information: 49% of Spaniards between 16 and 30 years old say inform of what happens through social networks, especially Instagram, according to the latest Eurobarometer youth survey. Don’t leave the platform It is precisely this platform that has grown the most in Spain in the last year, followed by Tik Tok. The oldest ones like X (Twitter) and Facebook are in decline although the latter is still the second most used (after Instagram), according to a report from the CNMC. Algorithms are the heart of this design. They are a set of hypercomplex, changing and opaque mathematical operations that decide what you see. They are not neutral or “objective”: they are machine learning systems that select and prioritize content that maximizes user interaction. That is, the algorithm observes what you devote the most attention to, and repeats that pattern to show you more of the same. Social media algorithms have the ability to modify ideas, behavior patterns and, in some cases, contribute to the radicalization of thought, the polarization and to conflict: visceral reactions (anger, fear, indignation) generate more clicks, shares and comments than other types of content. A study published in the journal Science shows that small changes in what is prioritized in a feed can accelerate feelings of political polarization in a very short time, evidencing how the technology behind the algorithm not only organizes content, but also shapes attitudes and emotions. And what purpose does your anger serve them? Regardless of whether or not there is a black hand behind it that wants to direct our attention and our time to a certain focus, the main function of this machinery is to keep you within the current application. Don’t feel the need to consult a website, specialists or an encyclopedia: attention time is the economic value that is sold to advertisers. Can we talk about addiction? Another phenomenon that greatly encourages time to slip away between applications is the so-called Fear of Missing Out (FoMO), whereby it seems that if we do not see everything that happens we feel that we are not part of the conversation, generating problems such as anxiety and giving rise to a continuous and compulsive connection, driving dependence on device platforms. But can we talk about addiction to social networks? For Ezpeleta, “you can talk about addiction when you need the stimulus and, when you withdraw it, anxiety appears.” And at least two important elements are needed: opportunity and habituation. (Unsplash) Each of these apps that fight for your time have something in common: they are on the same device, one that you use to wake up and that is the last thing you look at before going to sleep. For many people it is also a work tool, … Read more

Psychology knows that we are turning bad education into diagnosis

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A decade ago, if someone behaved selfishly in a relationship, we would clearly say that they were “selfish.” Today, you will most likely hear that that person has an “avoidance bond” or that his or her behavior is a “response to past trauma“. That is why today psychology has come to explain absolutely everything, but there is a problem: we are pathologizing everyday life. A new idea. The psychologist Ángela Fernández recently threw a dart at the center of the debate: “not everything is trauma or anxious attachment; sometimes it is simply a lack of education.” And this phrase is not just an unpopular opinion; is the summary of a growing concern in the scientific literature about how the “trauma culture” is blurring the boundary between pathology and character. “Overpathologization.” The concept is not new, but it has never been so relevant. scientific literature I already warned about the tendency that exists to look for an illness in every action we do inappropriately in daily life. In this way, modern psychology runs the risk of turning normal activities or reactions, such as sadness after a breakup or work stress, into a medical problem. This increase in diagnoses It has a pretty dangerous side effect.: trivializes serious disorders. When we call any emotional wound or inconvenience “trauma,” we are eroding the perception of human resilience, and in the process, downplaying those who truly suffer from PTSD. If everything is trauma, nothing is. In the Anglo-Saxon clinical field, the term “Trauma Culture” has been coined. Publications in Psychology Today warn that this fashion of seeking an explanation clinic for every emotional reaction can be counterproductive. Far from helping, it pushes people towards therapeutic interventions that they don’t fit your real problempreventing grieving or learning processes that are simply part of growing up. This is something that is added to by different psychotherapists who emphasize that considering each conflict that exists in a couple as a “response to trauma” mixes everyday stress with pathological conditions that are truly very complex. All this does is create a generation of people who consider themselves “broken” by default, instead of understanding that frustration and conflict are inherent to human interaction. It is selfishness. One of the most controversial points of Fernández’s criticism is the mention of “lack of education” or maturity, and the bibliography seems to agree with him. Published works in ScienceDirect about the “egoism-altruism spectrum” suggest that certain harmful behaviors are not explained by a “deregulated” nervous system, but by personality traits such as lack of empathy or manipulation. Something that is innate to a person, and that can hardly be treated. In this way, we have subclinical psychopathic traits: people who do not have a mental illness, but who show excessive interest in their own well-being. In these cases, the clinical diagnosis acts as a “cloak of invisibility” that exempts the person who causes some type of harm from personal responsibility. An excuse. That is why if I have had bad behavior, I can create an “invisibility cloak” effect that exempts me from personal responsibility. This way, I can blame this behavior on the parents or my own personal past, as if it were an “attachment trauma.” But the reality is that, often, these are unempathetic patterns that should be treated from ethics and education, not from the psychiatry manual. The danger of labels in infancy. Different scientific reports point because we are labeling normal variations in children’s behavior as mental disorders. This means that what was once a restless child or one who had difficulty following rules, today runs the risk of being quickly diagnosed and medicated. By turning behavioral problems into psychopathologies, we are missing the opportunity to teach discipline, limits, and frustration tolerance. As experts point out Birchwood Clinic, extensive use of these labels increases anxiety and medicalizationcreating a dependency on the health system for problems that, historically, were resolved in the social and family environment. The verdict of science. Social media has created a market of “pocket diagnostics” where selfishness is disguised as “self-care” and rudeness as “emotional limit.” However, clinical psychology insists: for something to be a disorder, there must be significant functional impairment. That is why being inconsiderate towards others does not make a person a psychiatric patient, but sometimes you simply have to grow up. Images | Vitaly Gariev In Xataka | Those born between 1950 and 1970 have a psychological advantage over other generations: they are entering their “peak”

We have been thinking all our lives that prices end in “.99” out of pure psychology. The reason was much more earthly

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The omnipresence of the price ending in .99 (today perceived as a consumer psychology) actually has a very different origin. Before the bias was studied and exploited, the figure was used by a machine to not only shield accounting, but also to found an entire culture of compliance, auditability and commercial discipline. The origin. In business at the end of the 19th century, the problem was not so much convincing the client, but preventing them from the money would disappear before reaching the owner. The cash passed through the hands of waiters and clerks without a trace, and the temptation to “keep some” was structural. The solution was not more human surveillance, but a luck of prosthesis mechanics: a machine that would require each sale to be recorded and that, when opened to make change, will leave an audible signal and a verifiable trail. The price at .99 made it inevitable to open the box to return the cent, forcing registration and eliminating the gap through which the money was lost. Trader with engineering instinct. The seed was born in Dayton from a tavern owner who already came from a family with a vocation to invent. James Rittyfed up with losses in his businesses, saw how a machine counted the revolutions of a propeller and suddenly understood that the same could be done with sales: if something can be counted mechanically, it can be audited. So, he returned to Dayton, worked with his brother John (an experienced mechanic) and built the first sales recorder: keys that represented amounts, a visible dial to check the figure and, later, a drawer with a bell and a scroll that left a physical mark of each transaction. Reproduction of Ritty Dial, an early example of a practical cash register NCR: from machine to industrial culture. Shortly after, when John H. Patterson buys the invention from the brothers and creates the National Cash Registerthe mechanism ceases to be an Ohio bar oddity and becomes a compliance standard in American commerce. The idea thus mutated in the industry. NCR not only manufactured boxes: manufactured method. It introduced a sales school, scripts, discipline, metrics, incentives and exported that corporate DNA via its graduates to other companies such as IBM and General Motors. The cash register It was not just a device: it was a way of governing the organization through material evidence rather than blind trust. National cash register from the late 19th century The .99 changes purpose. Decades later, when the reason anti-corruption was already solved by design, behavioral economics discovers that the .99 deforms the perception of value: anchors in the left figure, suggests a bargain, reduces psychological friction and stimulates impulsive buying. The same accounting gesture was now used for a very different war: it was no longer against theft, but against mental resistance of the buyer. The convention is stabilized because it generates economic margin even when the risk of theft has fallen due to digital processes. The .99 mutates from an anti-fraud technique to persuasion toolmaintaining its validity for a reason radically different from the one for which it was born. The device survives not because of tradition, but because it continues to generate economic advantage under a different paradigm. It survives because it works. The truth is that the .99 has lasted a century and a half because solved two problems different at two different times: first it prevented the seller rob the ownerand then helped the owner persuade the buyer. This double utility explains its persistence. If you will, it is proof of how in commerce what begins as compliance engineering ends as behavioral engineering. And every time today we see 4.99 or 9.99 in sales, we are actually reading (without knowing it) the fingerprint fossil of an invention originally created to close a hole economic before consumer psychologists existed. Codifying discipline. Thus, the box that was invented to catch petty theft It altered the physics of commerce: it introduced traceability, professionalized sales, and bequeathed a pricing convention that still programs how we read money in modern societies. A prosaic problem (a waiter who keeps some coins) inaugurated a causal chain that ended up shaping an entire century of business practice. And in reality, the bell that rang to warn the owner more than a century ago, now also rings, silently, in the consumer’s head every time he sees that .99 and decides that “it is less”…than it really is. Image | Enrique Íñiguez Rodríguez, National Cash Register Company, Wmpearl, Biser Todorov In Xataka | The psychology of pricing: a gigantic list of strategies In Xataka | Psychology has explained why it is so difficult for you to leave a job even if it is toxic: the sunk cost fallacy

There is always a disturbing friend who never speaks in the WhatsApp group. Psychology has an explanation

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A notification illuminates the mobile screen: “Someone has created a group.” For some, it is almost a message of horror; For others, an infinite dose of laziness; And for a few, the promise of a new plan that begins to organize. In a matter of minutes, the chat begins to fill with greetings, memes and jokes. Someone remembers the reason for the group and then the chain of questions, photos and proposals opens. Meanwhile, a recognizable figure always appears: that of the silent one, the “merodeter” that reads but never writes. A classic of any group. But what really does that silence mean? Is it disinterest, rejection, shyness … or something more complex? A thunderous silence. With more than 3,000 million monthly active users, According to TechCrunchWhatsApp reigns as the most used messaging application on the planet. And with it came the explosion of groups: a function that was born as a practical way of coordinating plans and that today has become a social phenomenon, as useful as exhausting. Within that ecosystem the so -called “silent” appear. These types of people are characterized by conserving Ancient chats as digital relics “That” Vacation 2017 “that nobody dares to erase – or those who remain even if they never write, because going out means having to give an explanation. A gesture that, As The Guardian remembersit is perceived almost like a public desaira. The rapid dynamic of the groups. The conversations move so fast that, if you are not connected in the first minutes, You can miss 67 messages On a break, a dinner, a drunkenness and even series recommendations. It is easy to get behind. And if it becomes common, the user limits himself to reading or even ignoring, until he becomes a digital “lurker”, How to describe an article The Independent. All this leads to overload. According to a study cited by Time66% of adults in the United States say they feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages, and 42% ensure that following the rhythm of their chats resembles a “part -time work.” Some confess to reserve time on the agenda just to answer messages. Others simply ignore and prioritize: the urgent is answered, the rest is filed in the mental folder of “eternal slopes”. Experts have something to say. Psychology has begun to pay attention to this phenomenon, and the general conclusion is clear: there is no single correct way to participate in WhatsApp groups. From the point of view of psychologist Rebeca Cáceres, director of Tribeca Psychologists, the essential thing is not to pathologize silence. In interviews with Week and The Spanishinsists that each person manages these spaces differently. Silence, in many cases, is not an absence, but a conscious act of self -care: choose not to respond as a way of protecting energy and maintaining coherence with their own values. “Not responding in a group does not mean ‘it ignores me’ or ‘rejects me’. That is what you feel, not what the other expresses,” he recalls. Your approach connects with the Self -determination theory by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan: emotional well -being is sustained on autonomy and the ability to decide how to interact. For her part, psychologist Olga Albaladejo adds other nuances in statements to body and mind. Many people shut up because they fear being misunderstood. The lack of gestures, tone of voice or looks makes WhatsApp a more ambiguous space. “They think too much about how their words will be read, if they will seem frivolous, too serious or little ingenious,” he explains. In more extreme cases, after that silence, social anxiety can hide, which amplifies the fear of being judged in an environment where each message is already written the view of all. But it is not always a problem: there are also introverted people who simply prefer intimate conversations against the noise of the groups. The fomo and the spiral of silence. Professor Sarah Buglass, from the University of Nottingham Trent, It raises another explanation in The Independent. Many “merodiers” remain in groups even if they do not participate moved by the Fomo (Fear of Missing Out). That is, the fear of falling socially relevant information. Being in the group – although in silence – is a way of monitoring the conversation, maintaining the sense of belonging and not being out of future interactions. Along the same lines, the “spiral of silence” by Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann, cited in Spanish, It shows how people tend to shut up when they feel that their opinion is in a minority or can break the harmony of the group. That silence, over time, is consolidated and ends up becoming a fixed role. The problem is that this behavior is not always interpreted correctly. For those who expect an answer, the lack of interaction can become a mirror of insecurities: feel ignored, little valued or even despised. “The silence, although legitimate, is not neutral,” Cáceres warns in Spanish. That is why he recommends that, if the lack of uncomfortable response, the healthiest is not to insist in public, but to open a private, honest and unjustial conversation. And what happens if you should be? Here we enter the obligations and these work groups, created for professional purposes, which end up becoming hybrid spaces where congratulations, jokes and memes are mixed. This ambiguity generates discomfort in some participants. Cáceres insists on week magazine in which the solution involves establishing clear rules: use schedules, type of allowed messages and the decision to use a personal or corporate number. Only with explicit agreements can we talk about commitments and expectations; Without them, demanding immediate response is meaningless. Resist hyperconnection without losing links. Silence in WhatsApp can also be seen as an act of resistance. The writer Richard Seymour, In The Guardianit relates it to the “right not to say anything” of the philosopher Gilles Deleuze. In a culture that rewards hyperconnection and immediate response, refusing to participate is a way to reaffirm control over time. However, group chats also … Read more

It is better than ever for having perfected the psychology of the habit paid

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Duolingo has just presented Spectacular results: 41% more income, 40% more active daily users and benefits that have fired 84%. The platform of Language learning Not only does it maintain its growth after more than a decade in the market, but it accelerates it. It is clear that their model works, since more and more are those who prefer to pay to maintain their streak, even if this implies not progressing in learning, an irony. The paradox of its success. It is curious that an application that promises to teach you English, French, German, and dozens of languages more, prosper even so much when there are few precisely those who criticize their learning method. Do not be misunderstood, Duolingo does very good things, and if people also give new languages and knowledge, better than better. However, the key that your business model is working so well is that Duolingo does not sell as much knowledge and feeling of progress. And of course, a need to maintain the streak is generated, taking advantage of all the bonuses that are missing before they give 12 in the morning to keep us hooked. The daily dopamine of the habit fulfilled, the satisfaction of maintain Fiscal results They corroborate it. The aspirations business. Duolingo has perfected something that characterizes many current technological products: monetizing aspirations rather than solutions. As air fryers that we buy convinced that they will make us eat healthier, or Meditation applications that promise us mental peace, Duolingo sells the improved version of ourselves. The difference is that it does so extraordinarily effective, turning the desire to learn a language into an addictive habit of daily consumption. The winning formula. The company has found the perfect balance between gamification and social pressure. The gusts, leagues, owl notifications … Everything is designed to pay the premium subscription feels as a necessary investment not to lose progress. It doesn’t matter so much if you really learn Italian and what you feel you are doing. And that constant advance perception is valuable enough to justify that monthly expense. And to see, I as an old Duolingo consumer in order to learn Turkish, I attest in which their mechanisms are really addictive (spoiler: I left the Turk at half). Beyond languages. Duolingo’s latest movements confirm this strategy. The firm is not only enough to monetize the sensation of learning with languages. And it has also expanded its offer With chess courses and have acquired A musical game startup. It is not about becoming the best Online Language Academy, but the final platform of the daily educational habit. Each new subject to which we sign up under the umbrella of Duolingo seems to be an opportunity to expand that microtransactions and rewards ecosystem that uses users hooked. Cover image | Generated by ia with chatgpt In Xataka | Boring tasks have had a solution all this time: you just had to turn them into levels of a video game

The Bonoloto on Wednesday had 25 times more winners of the second prize of the usual. The psychology of numbers betrays us

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He Bonoloto draw on Wednesday, July 30 He left a strange image: 127 Under the Second Prize. To put it in perspective, the probability of hitting that category is 1 between 2.3 million. The normal thing is usually that in that category there are between 0 and 4 winners, no more than a hundred. Awarded numbers explain everything: 3, 7, 23, 33, 43, 48, with 13 as complementary. The combination immediately lets smell an irresistible pattern for many players: Four numbers finished in 3. The mythical 7. And the superstitious 13. That is: all finishes in ‘3’, and ‘7’. Image: Lotteries and bets of the State. It is the perfect cocktail of what is often called “special numbers”: figures that the human mind perceives as more likely or lucky, although mathematically they are not. In Forocoches They sighted both the anomalous number of successful ones and the obvious explanation. Many people systematically play numbers that follow visual or symbolic patterns. All finished in the same figure, “beautiful” numbers such as 7, important dates. What they do not calculate is that, If one day they are lucky, they will share it with thousands of people who thought exactly the same. And that has happened. A classic experiment shows that if you ask people to choose “random” numbers, systematically avoid consecutive and tend to distribute them by tens. The result: predictable patterns. The previous day there were only 3 lucky in this category. Almost 70,000 euros each took. That day they went to 1,783 euros, just the average net salary in Spain. The next day there was no reminding. It is not the first recent anomaly: In 2023 it came out practically the same winning combination in two draws With just 48 hours apart, changing only one number. It is a bitter lesson of applied statistics: In gambling, as important as luck is originality. The paradox is that the numbers that seem “less random”-as 1-2-3-4-5-6-are statistically the smartest: you have the same chances of getting hit, but almost nobody else plays them. The next time you see a consecutive combination in a raffle, do not surprise yourself if there are few winners. It will be the day that mathematicians are formed. In Xataka | The man who won the lottery 16 times without cheating. His trick were so simple that they ended up prohibiting him Outstanding image |

It is a subtle shortcut to self -destruct according to psychology

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“Never enter dispute with a fool, will drag you at your level and win you from experience,” a phrase attributed to the American writer Mark Twain. In this way, this type of maxim has reinforced the idea that avoiding conflict is a sample of wisdom or self -control. Popular culture, family environments and even some educational speeches have promoted silence as a way of preserving harmony. However, what happens when to shut up ceases to be a specific strategy and becomes a life standard? Is it really mature who avoids the confrontation at all costs, or simply fears the consequences of raising the voice? When shutting up becomes a habit. “Shutting up does not make one mature, but submissive,” writes the psychologist Luis Miguel Real Kotbani In a column published in Ethic. There he states that the silence sustained in uncomfortable situations, far from guaranteeing harmony, can end up becoming a silent conviction: a strategy that begins with the intention of preserving peace, but ends up nullifying voice and personal needs. This pattern is not limited to relationships. It is replicated in work, family and friendship environments, where many people choose not to express their disagreement to avoid tensions. “Every time you choose silence so as not to bother, you give them the message that your needs are worth less,” says Real, who links this practice with a progressive loss of self -esteem and agency. Deeper roots. From the clinical look, the habit of shutting up has multiple causes. Psychologist Mario Arzuza, cited in the chroniclerHe points out that many people who avoid the conflict have been educated in environments that prioritize tranquility over authenticity. “This behavior is usually linked to low self -esteem, need for approval or fear of rejection,” he explains. Other individuals have grown in contexts where the conflict was associated with danger: screams, violence, abandonment. In these cases, any confrontation, however minimal, can activate disproportionate emotional responses. According to the chroniclerthis dynamic is frequent in people with deep insecurities or history of emotional trauma. Psychopedagogue Sylvie Pérez, In an article from the Oberta de Catalunya (UOC) University (UOC)warns that the avoidance of the conflict is usually learned in childhood, when adults use silence as a form of punishment. This practice, known as “Ice Law”, generates in children feelings of guilt, rejection and misunderstanding, and can install patterns of emotional submission that are dragged to adulthood. The drift of silence. In his article the real psychologist Also alert about the cumulative impact of silence: “Today you shut up in a small discussion, tomorrow swallows something bigger, and in the end you have been in a relationship where the only way of not generating conflicts has been to disappear yourself.” This prolonged silence affects not only the relationship with others, but also with oneself: the person ceases to wonder what he wants or needs, and lives automatically, disconnected from his own voice. In addition, systematic silence can erode links. Sheila Heen, conflict management specialist of the Harvard negotiation project, holds in Harvard Gazette than avoiding difficult conversations at all costs weakens relationships. “It’s not about discussing all the time, but either of never talking about what hurts. That chronic avoidance destroys the quality of the link,” he says. The limit: Does this relate to the ice law? Silence as a strategy to avoid conflicts should not be confused with the ice law. While the first is a form of self -preservation (although harmful), the ice law implies an intentional behavior, which seeks to punish the other with silence. This is the New York Timesin an article where this practice is described as an “emotionally punitive form” that can produce both damage and direct aggression. “Answering silently is a punishment, you recognize it or not,” says psychiatrist Gail Saltz, cited in the same medium. The damage is tangible: research by Professor Kipling Williams (University of Purdue) shows that being ignored in the brain the same areas that are activated before physical pain. In family contexts, As the UOC points outthe ice of ice applied to children can have lasting effects on their self -esteem and emotional development. In that sense, although shutting up for fear does not equal to manipulate with silence, both practices share a common substrate: the lack of genuine dialogue as a means to solve tensions. The difference lies in the objective and the direction of the damage: in one case, who is silent; in the other, who is withdrawn the word. Breaking with years of silences is not easy. But possible. The key is to develop assertive communication skills, which allow to express what one thinks and feels without aggression, but also without renunciation. The psychologist, Luis Miguel Real, proposes to start with the small: say in a conversation, say what you want to do in a plan, mark a subtle limit. From psychology, it is also recommended to work the tolerance to discomfort, practice emotional regulation exercises and, in more entrenched cases, resort to professional help. From the chronicler They suggest Identify irrational thoughts that feed the fear of conflict, while Harvard Gazette They underline The importance of reflective silences (not punitive), as a tool to think before speaking and not to evade the important. Avoiding conflict is not always wise. Sometimes it is a form of surrender. And the price of that surrender can be the loss of one’s voice. As real summarize: “Talking, putting limits, saying what you think, is not to create problems: it is respecting you. And who cannot deal with your voice, may not deserve your presence.” Shutting up does not guarantee peace. Just postpone the conflict or internalize it. The real challenge is not to avoid it, but to learn to face it without fear, with honesty and respect. Because, in the end, what is not said, does not disappear: it rots inside. Image | Pexels Xataka | There are people who cannot avoid interrupting you while you speak. Science has found several excuses

You thought they interrupted just by annoying. Psychology has discovered that it is more complex than that

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We all know someone at work or in the social sphere that, while Another person is talkingkeep interrupting or trying to monopolize the conversation. If you don’t know anyone like that, it is the same that this person is you. Although these interruptions are annoying for both those who are talking and for those who listen to it, they are not always the product of a lack of respect or bad education. Numerous psychological studies have studied this phenomenon and discovered that these interruptions may be influenced by psychological, social and even cultural factors. Conversation shifts and interruptions Conversation shifts are essential for verbal communication flows in an orderly and respectful way. When someone interrupts, there is a break in that flow that can negatively affect the group dynamics. According to a study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior By researchers From the University of Rochester (New York), the people who interrupted conversations were considered as less sociable and more assertive than those who did not interrupt. They were also perceived as more dominant, which did not always win the sympathies of the rest of the group. The rupture of the shift system during conversation can generate frustration or feeling of injustice, since an imbalance is perceived in the exposure of ideas. According to collected The New York Times“For many of us, it can be perceived as a degrading and condescending attitude,” said Maria Venetis, associate professor of communication at Rutgers University According to an investigation From the University of Neuchâtel (Switzerland), not all interruptions respond to an act of bad education but are the result of a narcissistic personality or a demonstration of power and, as noted scientific evidencewomen tend to be interrupted more frequently. A study from George Washington University he put a figure: he discovered that the men interrupt 33% more women than other men. In the workplace, for example, interruptions are usually related to Hierarchies and power relations. Thus, the interruption can be a control or Authority statementmore than a simple lack of courtesy. On the other hand, the group’s cultural factors also influence the frequency and meaning of interruptions. An investigation of the Pablo de Olavide University of Seville reveals that, in some cultures, the superposition of shifts and the interruptions signs of enthusiasm and participation are considered In communication, such and as he points out The psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, while in others they are interpreted as disrespect that dilutes the rhythm of communication. What was I going to tell you …? Not all interruptions have to do with power or culture. According to a Published article by the American Psychology Association Some interruptions originate from difficulties in attention, neurodivergencia or due to Anxiety features of who interrupts. According to The essay Of the psychologists and humanists Carl Rogers and Richard Farson, “active listening requires that we understand, from the point of view of the speaker, exactly what is communicating to us.” This form of listening does not focus on responding or judging immediately, but on precisely understanding both the content as the feelings of the interlocutorand show him that he has been understood. People with paintings Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD or ADHD) or with anxiety, they may have difficulty Keep this active listening And they go to the preparation phase of their speech. That is to say, answer before your interlocutor ends Your exhibition. According to research of psychologist Russell Barkley, an expert on ADHD and ADHD, people with this disorder usually have control of the weakest verbal impulses and problems with working memory and metacognition. “They can interrupt and not remember to wait for their turn because they do not trust themselves to remember what they want to say later,” for that reason, they tend to interrupt during the conversations. Taking into account that, according to Facilitated data By Francisco Montañés, head of psychiatry at the Alcorcón Foundation Hospital and coordinator of the Group of Special Interest in Attention/Hyperactivity Deficit Disorder (GEITDAH), “97% of adults with ADHD are not diagnosed.” Which means that, in all likelihood, those partners or friends who interrupt so much can be among that percentage of non -diagnosed population. Or that or that really They are not interested in what you tell them. In Xataka | Some neuroscientists believe they have found the trick to solve the most complicated problems: take a nap Image | Unspash (Yura Timoshenko), Pexels (Fauxels)

5 qualities of a truly good person, according to psychology

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Qualify one person Like someone truly good It can become an extremely subjective issue. And it is that for some being good depends on their way of being with others, for others the good part of his behavior with himself. Given this series of questions and points of view, the psychology He has entered the “game” through a list of qualities or features that a truly good person usually houses. And according to this science, having any of these elements are the direct reflection of a person that remains faithful to herself as she seeks to benefit others. Amability is the essence of good people according to psychology. Credit: Shuttersock The 5 qualities of a truly good person Empathy For the psychologythe empathy Play a fundamental role in a truly good person because it is the best way to notice the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This also allows an individual to interact with others in a compassionate and comprehensive way, in addition to demonstrating their intelligence and emotional strength to adversities. Resilience The way we deal with ups and downs is for the psychology A clear reflection of a truly good person. And through this quality, we can meet someone who can recover from adversity and move on regardless of what life gives him. Honesty A truly good person, according to the psychologyit is one that honestly leads his life. This quality, which provides transparency in their actions, of veracity to his words and provides authenticity to his behavior, is the basis of trust in any relationship. Kindness For psychology, kindness It is the basis by which a truly good person is built. It is not only a gesture related to making others feel, this trait describes someone who genuinely worries the well -being of others. A friendly person extends his goodness without expecting anything in return, in addition to treating everyone with respect and showing compassion in his actions. Goodness is a characteristic that stands out in good people. Credit: Shuttersock Sorry Forgiveness, however simple it may seem, is a quality of great power in a truly good person because it requires other features such as strength, empathy and a great heart. This action is also considered by the psychology as an act of self -love and self -preservation. Continue reading: Sleeping influences intrusive thoughts: why Scientists seek how self -esteem works in our brain Music influences our mood regarding the past (Tagstotranslate) Psychology

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