We have been failing with New Year’s resolutions for decades. Science says it’s because we don’t know how to “cheat”
January starts with a predictable ritual: paying gym membership, fill the fridge with kale or buy paintbrushes for a new hobby. It is the “clean slate effect” that defines Professor Katy Milkman. Human beings do not perceive time linearly, but rather like chapters of a novel. The New Year is the “Black Friday” of new beginnings; a symbolic border that makes us believe that the “me” of last year—the one who didn’t know how to draw a line without looking like a preschooler—has finally died. In fact, 4,000 years ago the Babylonians they already made promises at the Akitu festival to appease their gods. The difference is that they sought to avoid divine wrath and we simply sought to avoid the guilt in the mirror. The autopsy of a failure foretold. Despite our enthusiasm, the statistics are devastating. According to the media Selphonly one in five people manages to stick to their long-term resolutions. Most of us throw in the towel before the month is over, because we always make the same mistake: wanting to be a different person overnight. We want to eat healthy, meditate, travel and be experts in some subject, all at the same time. The problem is that we focus obsessively on the result (losing 10 kilos) and not on the process (enjoying the taste of a new recipe). Added to this is what psychologist Kimberley Wilson describes how the danger of “forbidden words”. Using terms like “always” or “never” puts us in an “all or nothing” trap. If work gets complicated on a Wednesday and you can’t go to paint or eat a pizza, you feel like the entire year is a failure. It’s tunnel vision that ignores that life is, by definition, unpredictable. Furthermore, today we have a new enemy: metrics. As behavioral experts saywe have gone “from enjoyment to performance.” We no longer read for pleasure, but to update the counter. goodreads; We do not run for health, but to not break the streak of Strava. This culture of productivity applied to leisure turns our hobbies into a second working day. If the app says we haven’t complied, guilt appears. The science of “traps”: The method of temptation. What if the key to compliance was not military discipline, but rather being a little “cheatful”? Katy Milkman, behavior change expert, confesses her own trick in an interview with the Washington Post: he “temptation bundling” (temptation pairing). When he was a student, he hated exercising but loved Harry Potter. His solution was to allow himself to listen to the audiobooks of the saga only while he was at the gym. “It made me want to go to work out,” he explains. It’s basically using a guilty pleasure to “bribe” our brain into a healthy habit. This idea is complemented by the “Habit Stacking” (habit stacking). Instead of reaching for willpower you don’t have, “glue” your new purpose to something you already do automatically. Want to learn that paint stroke? Do a five-minute sketch right after your morning coffee. Want to finish that Pinterest scarf? Do ten rows while watching your favorite Netflix series. You don’t add effort, you just take advantage of the architecture of your current routine. Less “goals”, more “values”. From Harvard University, Dr. Aisha Usmani suggests that we see change as “shaping a sculpture”: It is done by removing pieces of stone little by little, not all at once. Cognitive science tells us that if you want to paint, don’t set out to do one canvas a day; Start with one a week. And above all, align your goals with your personal values, not with external pressure. If crochet stresses you, perhaps it does not respond to your value of “creativity”, but rather to an aesthetic imposition. According to Usmani, We must ask ourselves every day: “Is this still important to me?” If the answer is no, adjusting course is not failure, it is being flexible. Self-compassion as a strategy. We cannot forget the weight of the treatment we give to ourselves. As the psychologist Ángel Rull explains in his columnmany resolutions are born from “being fed up with oneself” and not from self-care. If you join the gym because you hate your body, there is a good chance you will quit. If you do it to feel more energetic, the commitment changes. Another interesting note is how we talk about our setbacks. A recent study highlights the difference between saying that we didn’t “have time” and that we didn’t “make time.” While the first sounds like an external excuse, the second implies active control over our agenda: if we didn’t do it today, we can decide to do it tomorrow. According to this research, focusing the cause of failure on external factors and not on our lack of will is the best lifesaver for our confidence. A more human 2026. In short, we are not computers that restart on January 1st. The real change is not about saturating our to-do list, but about transforming initial fatigue into real self-care. If this year you want to start lifting some weights or for your painting stroke to gain firmness, science gives you permission to be a strategist: combine effort with pleasure through temptation bundlingopt for small things—because a page read will always be better than an abandoned book—and accept that perseverance necessarily includes days of hiatus. In the end, perhaps the best resolution for this year is not to become an “optimized” version of ourselves, but to stop treating ourselves as a defective project that must be fixed by decree. The key to success this year lies not in military discipline, but in the ability to begin to see ourselves as someone who is simply trying to live with a little more presence, realistic tools and, above all, a little less guilt. 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