A notification illuminates the mobile screen: “Someone has created a group.” For some, it is almost a message of horror; For others, an infinite dose of laziness; And for a few, the promise of a new plan that begins to organize. In a matter of minutes, the chat begins to fill with greetings, memes and jokes. Someone remembers the reason for the group and then the chain of questions, photos and proposals opens. Meanwhile, a recognizable figure always appears: that of the silent one, the “merodeter” that reads but never writes. A classic of any group. But what really does that silence mean? Is it disinterest, rejection, shyness … or something more complex?
A thunderous silence. With more than 3,000 million monthly active users, According to TechCrunchWhatsApp reigns as the most used messaging application on the planet. And with it came the explosion of groups: a function that was born as a practical way of coordinating plans and that today has become a social phenomenon, as useful as exhausting.
Within that ecosystem the so -called “silent” appear. These types of people are characterized by conserving Ancient chats as digital relics “That” Vacation 2017 “that nobody dares to erase – or those who remain even if they never write, because going out means having to give an explanation. A gesture that, As The Guardian remembersit is perceived almost like a public desaira.
The rapid dynamic of the groups. The conversations move so fast that, if you are not connected in the first minutes, You can miss 67 messages On a break, a dinner, a drunkenness and even series recommendations. It is easy to get behind. And if it becomes common, the user limits himself to reading or even ignoring, until he becomes a digital “lurker”, How to describe an article The Independent.
All this leads to overload. According to a study cited by Time66% of adults in the United States say they feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages, and 42% ensure that following the rhythm of their chats resembles a “part -time work.” Some confess to reserve time on the agenda just to answer messages. Others simply ignore and prioritize: the urgent is answered, the rest is filed in the mental folder of “eternal slopes”.
Experts have something to say. Psychology has begun to pay attention to this phenomenon, and the general conclusion is clear: there is no single correct way to participate in WhatsApp groups. From the point of view of psychologist Rebeca Cáceres, director of Tribeca Psychologists, the essential thing is not to pathologize silence. In interviews with Week and The Spanishinsists that each person manages these spaces differently. Silence, in many cases, is not an absence, but a conscious act of self -care: choose not to respond as a way of protecting energy and maintaining coherence with their own values. “Not responding in a group does not mean ‘it ignores me’ or ‘rejects me’. That is what you feel, not what the other expresses,” he recalls. Your approach connects with the Self -determination theory by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan: emotional well -being is sustained on autonomy and the ability to decide how to interact.
For her part, psychologist Olga Albaladejo adds other nuances in statements to body and mind. Many people shut up because they fear being misunderstood. The lack of gestures, tone of voice or looks makes WhatsApp a more ambiguous space. “They think too much about how their words will be read, if they will seem frivolous, too serious or little ingenious,” he explains. In more extreme cases, after that silence, social anxiety can hide, which amplifies the fear of being judged in an environment where each message is already written the view of all. But it is not always a problem: there are also introverted people who simply prefer intimate conversations against the noise of the groups.
The fomo and the spiral of silence. Professor Sarah Buglass, from the University of Nottingham Trent, It raises another explanation in The Independent. Many “merodiers” remain in groups even if they do not participate moved by the Fomo (Fear of Missing Out). That is, the fear of falling socially relevant information. Being in the group – although in silence – is a way of monitoring the conversation, maintaining the sense of belonging and not being out of future interactions. Along the same lines, the “spiral of silence” by Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann, cited in Spanish, It shows how people tend to shut up when they feel that their opinion is in a minority or can break the harmony of the group. That silence, over time, is consolidated and ends up becoming a fixed role.
The problem is that this behavior is not always interpreted correctly. For those who expect an answer, the lack of interaction can become a mirror of insecurities: feel ignored, little valued or even despised. “The silence, although legitimate, is not neutral,” Cáceres warns in Spanish. That is why he recommends that, if the lack of uncomfortable response, the healthiest is not to insist in public, but to open a private, honest and unjustial conversation.
And what happens if you should be? Here we enter the obligations and these work groups, created for professional purposes, which end up becoming hybrid spaces where congratulations, jokes and memes are mixed. This ambiguity generates discomfort in some participants. Cáceres insists on week magazine in which the solution involves establishing clear rules: use schedules, type of allowed messages and the decision to use a personal or corporate number. Only with explicit agreements can we talk about commitments and expectations; Without them, demanding immediate response is meaningless.
Resist hyperconnection without losing links. Silence in WhatsApp can also be seen as an act of resistance. The writer Richard Seymour, In The Guardianit relates it to the “right not to say anything” of the philosopher Gilles Deleuze. In a culture that rewards hyperconnection and immediate response, refusing to participate is a way to reaffirm control over time.
However, group chats also have a positive side. During the pandemic, they were an emotional lifeguard For many isolated people. In a report For the New York Times He described them as “the last online place for real conversation”, capable of holding links between friends and family separated by geography.
At the same time, they do not replace friendship in person. As Time remembers, The group chat can simulate intimacy, but true relationships require calls, encounters and real presence. “The people I want the most continue to live on my phone, but I try to get them out of it from time to time,” admits the author of the article.
The value of silence. In the background, silence in a WhatsApp group is not a mystery as dark as it seems. It can mean shyness, introversion, anxiety, self -care or simple preference. It can be resistance, fatigue or a healthy limit. It can also be a gesture of maturity: accepting that not everything requires immediate response.
As the psychologist Rebeca Cáceres summarizes In the magazine week“The digital world also reflects our diversity as people.” And perhaps there is the key: understand that in the virtual, as in real life, there are multiple ways of being present. Accepting that diversity, without judgments or pressures, is also a way of caring for our relationships. In short, silence is not always empty: sometimes it is care, authenticity and even a way of protecting the link. Recognizing it as part of communication can change the way we live in the parallel universe of WhatsApp groups.
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