His king was useless sexual

In the France of the eighteenth century, the prerrevolutionarythat of Versailles and the social boiler, there was a very urgent state issue that worried diplomats, filled hours of debate in the European courts, desperate the powerful Habsburg-Lorena house and inspired jocular songs on Paris streets: the penis of Louis XVI. Or rather: what did he do with him. Or rather yet: what he did not do with him.

Despite his youth and being married to one of the ladies who greater fascination He has aroused in the history of Europe, María Antonieta, Louis XVI It didn’t seem too interested In sex. Himself summed up clearly in his diary how was his wedding night with the young Austrian May 16, 1770:

“Rien” (Nothing)

Nothing happened that first night of Esponsal among the young French Dolphin, who was now 16 years old, and his even younger wife, who did not even arrive at 15. And “Rien” (Nothing) The next night happened again, neither the other, nor to the fourth … and thus throughout 2,500 eveningsseven long years during which, marriage between Luis and María Antonieta was not consumed as such.

The French towards night visits to his wife. And with greater or lesser effort, I tried. We know among other things thanks to the correspondence of José II of Austria, brother of María Antonieta, who after visiting her brother -in -law wrote a desperate letter (and with a comic point) in which she spoke of the poor performance of Louis XVI in the things of love and flesh.

“It has very conditioned erections, introduces the member, it stays there for two minutes without moving, withdraws without ejaculating and still erect gives good night,” confessed José II To another of his brothers, the future emperor Leopold II. “And he is happy, saying that he has only done it … and that he doesn’t like it!”

The Austrian aristocrat is not the only one who left in writing His impressions or what he knew about the sexual life of Louis XVI and María Antonieta. The contemporary historian spoke on the subject Jacob-Nicolas Moreau and influential aristocrats such as the Count of Fuentes, who served as Ambassador of Spain, the Count of Aranda and before or after his own protagonists, the French Dolphin and María Antonieta.

Of course there was also talk of the apparent awkwardness (or lack of interest) of Luis in the streets of the prerevolutionary Paris, which did not miss the opportunity to compose jocular satires and increases of all about the matter.

“Everyone wonders under: Can the king or cannot? The sad queen loses hope. One says that he cannot spliced. The other that cannot enter it “, Ironiza A theme dedicated to the virile member of Luis.

That the sexual life of Versailles awaken so much interest, in Paris, France and much further, among the foreign aristocracy, is more than understandable. That Louis XVI and María Antonieta consumed and had a good sexual life (or at least joint sexual life, without more) was somewhat a priority state issue. It depended on neither more nor less than the real succession.

Proof of what extent worried the matter is that, in addition to José II, the María Teresa I of AustriaMother of María Antonieta, and Luis’s grandfather, Louis XV (The ‘well loved’), who ironies of history was known by On the contrary: his intense and controversial Sexual appetite It is counted That in October 1772 the old French monarch came to summon the two young people in a private meeting during which he wanted to check in person, without mediators, if the genitals of his grandson had some failure.

It is not surprising. There are no indications that Luis was interested in men. And beyond the jokes and murmuring, the precarious sexual life of Luis and María Antonieta let a question: if the problem was him (about it Rumors ran On the contrary, they talked about sexual scandals), what happened to Luis? There were theories A few. Many. Of all fur.

There were those who believed it was of a matter of magic and that the dolphin was under the influence of a spell. Other versions blamed the poor sexual life of French to their shyness, youth, a Puberty delayglandular problems, diabetes, the endocrine system or that was a being “indolent” Towards sex.

The most widespread theory and on which it seems that the most was spoken at the time, within the circles closest to Versailles, it is very different: phimosis.

Having sex (or trying) the young man would feel pain, which led him to give up and frustrated his desire. The Count of Aranda echoed that version detailed In a letter collection a few years ago by ABC: “They say that the frenulum compresses in such a way the foreskin that is loosen at the time of penetration and causes pain that forces its majesty to moderate the impulse.”

“Others presume that said foreskin is so adherent that you cannot loosen enough to allow the exit of the penian limb, which prevents a complete erection from occurring,” He pointed out The Spanish aristocrat, who is allowed to even leave his own impressions. If the problem is the frenulum, he writes, it would not be something so exceptional and the real problem would be Luis’s character.

“It is something that happens to many people in their first attempts, but since these people have a better carnal appetite than their majesty, because of their temperament or their inexperience, with the heat of passion, a groan and good will, the frenulum is broken in its entirety, or enough to continue,” He reported.

A similar version must have handled José II, who It is counted that he convinced his brother -in -law to operate. If the problem was or not the frenulum is more complicated. María Teresa He received a report that he advised surgery, but after examining his grandson Louis XV, he concluded that It was not necessary.

It was about waiting.

And he was not wrong.

The marriage took to consume, a lot, seven long years full of theories, jokes, murmuring, anger and despair (and joy) in not a few European cuts; But after 2,500 nightsthe problem seemed to solve.

“I am very happy. It has been totally consummated for eight days. The test has been repeated and yesterday of a more complete form“Maria Antonieta told her mother in 1777. Louis XVI himself confessed to her aunts that she had discovered” pleasure “and lamented” not having known him so much time. “

The couple had offspring. Four children.

Little more time of happiness was left, however. In 1789, the French revolution initiated, the problem ceased to be the bed and became the guillotine. They are not missing Theories which argue that in the mood of the people and the image that it had of French royalty influenced the attractive sexual life of both monarchs.

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